


i'm keen to play with fire (but now i'm not so sure)

by noyoumiscalculated



Series: heart of coal [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Ty Lee (Avatar), Book 3: Fire (Avatar), Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Childhood Trauma, F/F, F/M, Fire Nation Royal Family, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Mentions of sex (nothing explicit), Mutual Pining, Pining, i just really love writing for mai okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 10:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noyoumiscalculated/pseuds/noyoumiscalculated
Summary: The Teens return to the Fire Nation after conquering Ba Sing Se. Which means Azula is Not Gay, Ty Lee is Not Heartbroken, and Mai is Not a Mom Friend. Zuko, however, is Oblivious thanks to his own Existential Crisis. Spans Book 3: Fire and is told from Mai’s POV.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula & Mai & Ty Lee & Zuko, Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), mailee if you squint - Relationship
Series: heart of coal [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213160
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	i'm keen to play with fire (but now i'm not so sure)

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from Take You Back (The Iron Hoof Cattle Call) by Orville Peck. Sequel to i’ve been around this world (and now everything’s a bore)

Unsurprisingly, Aula breaks up with Ty Lee before they ever set foot on Fire Nation soil.  
  
The only person who doesn’t see it coming?

Ty Lee.

“What did you think would happen when we got home?” Mai asks her when she inevitably comes crying after this turn of events. “That Azula was going to throw a party for you? Strike down a hundred-year-old law for you? Marry you?”

Ty Lee sighs. Her eyes are all red and puffy and gross, but she rubs her face in Mai’s robes anyway as they awkwardly hug. It’s a long one, too, maybe even a record for them.

Mai allows it.

“She promised we could be together as long as we kept it a secret,” Ty Lee says.

Azula always lies.

Ty Lee knows this.

It just sucks that she has to be reminded so often.

Gently, too, which isn’t Mai’s forte.

Because she is _not_ a Mom Friend.

“She was never going to keep that promise, babe.”

Shit.

Did she really just say that without the slightest hint of irony?

“Did you just call me babe?” Ty Lee asks, suddenly giddy. It only makes her hug Mai harder. “Because I gotta say… that was almost as unexpected as the whole _getting-my-heart-ripped-out-after-losing-my-virginity_ thing.”

Sure it was.

“Had to get you out of your funk somehow,” Mai says, hoping to downplay her horrible choice of words. She pries herself away from Ty Lee’s death grip. “Besides, you are a babe, Ty Lee. You could get any guy or girl you wanted.”

“Would _you_ wanna–” Ty Lee begins to ask, but Mai cuts her off.

“Other than me.”

“Whatever you say…babe,” Ty Lee grins.

Embarrassing.

Mai is definitely going to regret _that_ slip of the tongue.

“You just…deserve better,” she tells her best friend.

Ty Lee looks at her like she’s crazy. “That’s nice and all, Mai, but I don’t think I’m going to do better than a princess.”

Wow.

In all of Ty Lee’s history of missing the point, this has to be the furthest she’s ever been from it.

“No, dummy,” says Mai, forgoing her gentle approach. “What I mean is that you deserve better than someone who won’t stand up to her father.”

Ty Lee pouts. “What happened to calling me babe?”

Ugh.

“One time only,” Mai tells her. “Your sadness is depressing. Even for me.”

She lays on her bed hoping Ty Lee will get the hint to leave her alone.

Ty Lee curls up next to her instead. “Can I stay in here tonight? I never use my room anyway and it just seems so lonely now.”

Mai wants to say no, but she can’t.

“Fine,” she concedes, “but you owe me one.”

But if Mai is being honest – Ty Lee has never owed her anything.

“Thanks Mai. I’m done dating Azula. For good this time,” Ty Lee says sleepily. “I mean it, you know. For-ev-er.”

_Yeah._

Mai doubts that.

* * *

They must be getting close to Caldera because the smell of sulfur and repressed homosexuality is overwhelming.

Azula and Ty Lee avoid each other like only exes can and Mai spends most of her time in her cabin or with Zuko, but never both at the same time.

It’s not like anyone cares what the prince gets up to, but her reputation would most certainly be… _tarnished_.

If anything happened.

Or supposedly happened.

Still, this might be the most peace Mai’s felt the entire war.

So…. her whole life, then.

But also for the first time it’s just Zuko and Mai.

For the first time in their long, tangled history her friends aren’t hovering over them, just waiting for something to happen.

It doesn’t mean they can’t still ruin the moment.

“What’s going on with my sister and Ty Lee?” Zuko asks her out of the blue. “Did they get in a fight?”

See?

Ruined.

“Why do you ask?” she inquires.

If only he’d been around for their budding relationship in the Earth Kingdom so that she’d have someone to commiserate with.

But he had his own _Fugitive-from-the-Fire-Nation_ thing going on so…

Priorities.

“I don’t know. They’ve been suspiciously quiet. Either they’re plotting something or Azula tugged on Ty Lee’s braid too hard and now they’re not talking,” he replies, chuckling to himself.

If only Azula still tugged on Ty Lee’s braid to show her affection.

Well, maybe she still does.

Mai just doesn’t want to think about the context in which Azula would do that.

“I can’t say I missed their drama though,” he adds. “Like the way they ganged up on you or always tried locking us in a room together.”

Now it’s Mai’s turn to laugh.

She has some shitty memories from childhood, but being shoved in a closet with Zuko isn’t one of them.

“Well, I made the mistake of admitting my crush on you to Ty Lee,” she says, hoping it comes off as flirty.

“Would you… would you really call it a mistake?” he asks.

Guess it _doesn’t_ come off as flirty because now he looks self-conscious.

Damn.

How does Ty Lee make this stuff look so easy?

What would she do in this situation?

Well… maybe Mai shouldn’t do what Ty Lee would in this situation.

That would be wildly inappropriate.

“No,” Mai assures him, brushing her hand against his ever so slightly – instead of just shoving her tongue down his throat as her friend might suggest. “Definitely not a mistake.”

He relaxes a little and takes her hand to hold. “Good.”

“Good,” she repeats back to him, letting their fingers lace together.

It’s all very… chaste.

“Can I kiss you now?” he asks.

She rolls her eyes. “We went over this. You don’t have to ask for my permission every time you want to kiss me, dork.”

“I guess I just thought I’d never have the chance again,” Zuko blushes. He’s cute when he’s sheepish, which seems to be quite often around her. “I mean, I _hoped_ I would, but actually kissing you… it seems too good to be true.”

_Oh Zuko,_ she thinks, _if only you knew._

* * *

“I noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with my brother lately,” Azula says, approaching her on the deck of the Fire Navy ship. “I’d ask if you _lost anything_ , but I don’t really care.”

Gross.

If Azula thinks that Mai’s just going to take that insult, she’s dead wrong.

“And I’d hate for people to get ideas about how invested you are in your brother’s sex life,” Mai responds.

“Lack thereof is more like it,” Azula spits back. “There’s something about the two of you that’s just so… untouched.”

How considerate of Azula to hone in on Mai’s inexperience like that.

Bitch.

“Haven’t found the time,” Mai bluffs. “Too exhausted from listening to all of Ty Lee’s blubbering.”

And that part is true.

Every moment that Mai doesn’t share with Zuko is spent with Ty Lee talking about… who else?

_The most beautiful, perfect princess in the whole wide world who never meant to break Ty Lee’s heart, but she had to because, y’know, The Law_.

Barf.

In a way it’s kind of a relief trading barbs with Azula. At least this conversation will have fewer tears. More bloodshed, maybe, but definitely fewer tears.

Yet to Mai’s surprise, Azula’s expression softens ever so slightly.

“How – how is Ty Lee? I haven’t seen her since…”

Mai scans the deck for anyone who might be eavesdropping. “Since you dumped her?” she asks, sighing. “Wouldn’t be so heartbroken if you hadn’t slept together first.”

Azula also observes the surrounding area.

Always calculating.

Calculating how long it would take people to notice if she threw Mai overboard, probably.

“Well, it’s called a fling for a reason,” Azula says in a casual tone.

But she’s never been casual.

Especially when it comes to Ty Lee.

Or being gay.

“But it wasn’t a fling, was it?” Mai laments.

Azula scoffs. “What’s your _point_ , Mai?”

“For once, I don’t have a point,” Mai tells her plainly. “You just really did a number on her, that’s all.”

There is no scathing remark or lightning for Mai to dodge this time.

She’d consider herself lucky, but there’s no telling how long she has before her luck runs out.

* * *

“You should _totally_ write a story about your time in exile,” Ty Lee tells Zuko.

It’s amusing watching the two of them interact. They never did much as kids, but Ty Lee’s become something of a third wheel lately.

It doesn’t bother Mai.

If anything, it’s a nice buffer because sex _can_ and _will_ ruin relationships.

As Azula and Ty Lee proved.

Not that she’s scared of it or whatever.

She’s _not_.

“Like about how my dad burned me, disowned me, and then sent me off on a fool’s errand while my sister lived the life I was always meant to have?” Zuko asks Ty Lee blankly.

Ty Lee thinks it over for a moment. “Hmmm… it’s a good start, but you might need a few more details.”

“Only you would think that’s a _good_ start to a story,” says Mai.

Zuko seems to agree. “How about when my uncle, who was my mentor and my only friend, betrayed me by defending the Avatar in the Crystal Catacombs beneath Ba Sing Se?”

Wow.

That is a lot to unpack.

Maybe he _should_ write this all down.

“Your uncle’s not your _only_ friend,” Ty Lee says after a while.

“That’s all you got out of this?” Mai asks.

“I’m just saying. We’ve all been friends since we were kids,” Ty Lee huffs. “It’s not like he was totally friendless.”

“I wasn’t friends with _you_ ,” he tells Ty Lee.

“Zuko,” Mai warns, knowing all too well how sensitive Ty Lee is.

“Yes we were. We were friends then and we’re friends now,” Ty Lee says frantically, because nobody has never outright _rejected_ her friendship before.

Not when she’s always been so popular.

But Zuko’s never cared for popularity.

Normally it’s one of his most attractive qualities, but right now it’s driving a wedge between the two most important people in Mai’s life.

It’s just hard to stop Zuko when he gets worked up like this.

“No. Azula’s my sister and Mai’s my girlfriend. You’re just an airhead who tags along like a lost little koala sheep,” he continues anyway, ignoring the look Mai gives him, pleading him to stop. “So go _bahhh_ -ther someone else.”

Maybe Zuko and Ty Lee together isn’t as amusing as Mai thought.

The pun isn’t even the worst part.

The worst part is the hurt on Ty Lee’s face.

* * *

The Capital looms before them.

Mai just wishes it would loom a little less and hurry the fuck up because she’s sick of being out at sea with the three most dramatic people she’s ever met.

Not that she doesn’t like spending time with Zuko, because she does, but she needs at least _some_ time to herself to reenergize.

Especially after Zuko and Ty Lee’s argument.

Ty Lee, to her credit, doesn’t seem to dwell on it. Then again, she’s never really taken Zuko too seriously. And nobody takes Zuko as seriously as he takes himself.

But Mai finally has a day just for her and she fully intends to enjoy it – until Azula and Ty Lee kidnap her.

Yeah.

_Ambush-and-force-into-a-dark-room_ is definitely their go-to move.

Mai’s not even sure what part of the ship they’re in, even when Azula lights candles all around them, illuminating the tiny space.

Mai half expects there to be a shrine to Ty Lee’s braid somewhere, but there’s only the three of them – with Azula and Ty Lee donning black cloaks.

“Strip her,” Azula commands Ty Lee.

Wait – is Mai going to have to be naked for – whatever this is?

Apparently not since Ty Lee just strips her of her knives, winking as she does so, and hands them over to Azula. Then she gives Mai a cloak of her own.

“We’re playing Blood Oath,” Ty Lee tells her. “Surprise!”

Great.

What a fun surprise.

“Now drink from the chalice,” Azula commands.

The chalice is a cup from the mess hall filled with red wine, but she drinks it anyway.

They used to do dumb stuff like this all the time…

Like when Azula swore she saw the ghost of a former Fire Lord and they held a ceremony to contact him.

Or when Ty Lee tried to place a curse on her sisters so they’d all be _slightly_ less pretty.

This is not something Mai ever initiated because there was nothing she ever wanted that badly.

Except maybe Zuko.

Or a different family.

* * *

“Does this mean you two are back together? Is that why we’re here?” Mai whispers to Ty Lee while Azula prepares the ceremony and subsequent monologue.

That’s the only conclusion she’s come up with so far as to why they’re crammed into this room.

“Why? Did _she_ say something about wanting to get back together? Because I meant what I said before. We are never, ever, ever dating again,” Ty Lee says, but there’s a frightening glimmer of hope in her voice.

“No reason,” Mai sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry about the way Zuko treated you the other day.”

“It’s fine, Mai. I’d be frustrated too if I were him,” Ty Lee whispers back as Azula drones on about… something.

Loyalty, honor, blah, blah, blah.

“What do you mean?” she asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Ty Lee grins in that annoying _I-know-something-you-don’t-know_ way. “I mean what I said.”

“He’s not frustrated. He would tell me.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of frustration. He’s probably just… pent up,” Ty Lee responds, waggling her eyebrows.

Oh.

_Nasty._

At least Ty Lee can laugh about it, which she does.

Azula clears her throat. “Ladies, if you’re done _chatting,_ I have something to ask both of you,” she says sternly, eyeing them both. “I, Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, call upon Mai and Ty Lee, also of the Fire Nation, to take a sacred, solemn oath. Do you accept?”

“We do,” they say in unison.

As if they have a choice.

“Then show me your hands,” Azula says and they both comply, one more willingly than the other.

Azula takes one of Mai’s knives out from beneath her robe.

This is Mai’s least favorite part.

She can handle the pain – it’s the filthiness that she hates.

So unsanitary.

“Not too deep, okay?” Ty Lee tells her as Azula ever so gently slices both of Ty Lee’s palms with the knife.

“I could never damage something so perfectly lethal,” Azula replies, and Mai’s not sure who she wants to punch more: Azula for such a lame line or Ty Lee for so easily falling for it.

It won’t be long before Ty Lee is back in Azula’s clutches – or arms or whatever.

Mai’s sure of it.

Then it’s her turn.

There are no gentle words of encouragement for her. It stings a bit, but Azula is precise and before Mai knows it, both of her hands are lightly bleeding.

Next Azula pricks herself.

“My father can never know what transpired between me and Ty Lee. That what we had went beyond… _friendship_ ,” she says, offering her bloody hands to the both of them. Mai and Ty Lee each take one and intertwine their free hands. “Swear to me. Our blood runs together.”

“Our blood runs together,” Ty Lee recites back, face pale, having lost all of her earlier enthusiasm.

She never could stand the sight of blood – or having to deny any part of herself.

“You have to say it too, Mai,” Azula demands.

The _so-I-know-you-won’t-betray-my-trust_ goes unsaid.

Such elaborate lengths to go to just to unwittingly flaunt her insecurities…

Typical.

Mai narrows her eyes as the blue flames dance around them, promising, “Our blood runs together.”

“May dark spirits consume anyone who breaks this oath and drag their mangled bodies into a shadowy realm for all eternity,” Azula concludes, releasing Ty Lee and Mai from her grip.

“Wow, Azula, that was way more intense than usual,” Ty Lee compliments her, before gingerly wrapping each of their hands in bandages and pressing a kiss to both Mai and Azula’s knuckles.

Again, Mai allows it.

If only because Ty Lee is too quick and it’s over before Mai even realizes.

She’s sneaky like that.

“I had to be sure you’d both cooperate, didn’t I?” Azula asks in that way where she’s not really asking.

Because nothing screams fidelity like a mandatory oath.

Leave it to Azula to drag them into a game they played as kids.

But the games they played as kids weren’t fun back then…

…and they sure as hell aren’t fun now.

* * *

“A secret pact? What’s that all about?” Zuko asks when he sees the bandages on her hands.

Mai smirks. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“Huh,” he replies, shaking his head. “Girls are wild.”

But he’s wrong.

It’s not all girls who act that way.

Just Azula.

* * *

For all the fanfare, their homecoming isn’t that exciting. Mai doesn’t even see the Fire Lord welcome his only son back to the Capital. Instead, she skips the big ceremony in favor of settling into her childhood bedroom.

Thankfully her parents and brother are still in Omashu.

She refuses to call it New Ozai anymore.

That’s stupid.

But she is surprised to find she has a shadow.

“ _CanIstaywithyoubecauseIhatemyfamily_ ,” Ty Lee blurts out on the walk to Mai’s.

Mai pauses. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Please, please, please?” she begs. “It’ll be just like when we were camping out in the Earth Kingdom! We can even pee in your garden if you’d like.”

“Tempting,” Mai retorts.

“I’ll make myself scarce when Zuko visits and I won’t even mention his blue balls,” Ty Lee offers. She thinks it over for a second. “Except for just now.”

“Won’t your parents wonder where you are?” Mai asks with a sigh. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy Ty Lee’s company, but this is the first time she’s ever had the house to herself. “It’s been a few years since you’ve been home.”

“Oh, they don’t really care. I mean, how long do you think it took them to notice I was gone in the first place?” Ty Lee says, trying to put a positive spin on it like it’s not the saddest thing Mai’s heard in a while.

“Fine,” Mai relents, because she’d prefer Ty Lee to spare her the guilt trip. “You can stay with me. On the condition that you _keep your pants on_ in my garden.”

“You’re the best, Mai! We’ll have sleepovers every night,” Ty Lee squeals. “And I don’t care _what_ Azula says. I know your head isn’t stuck up the cold, hairy confines of your butt.”

If it wasn’t for the secondhand insult, the sheer joy on Ty Lee’s face is almost enough to force Mai to smile.

The things she does for her friends.

* * *

“Then the servant asked if I wanted a hot towel and he just gave it to me,” Zuko recalls gleefully. “Man, how I took that for granted when I was on the run.”

“Yeah. I can imagine not having any servants to hand you things was a real dilemma,” Mai muses.

They’re lounging around Mai’s house because there’s nothing else really to do. It’s too hot for another picnic and they’ve already been on several rides around the Capital – both in the palanquin and in a war balloon.

“It was! It was impossible,” he replies with a grin.

His head is in her lap and she tousles his hair.

It’s shaggy and unbecoming of a prince, but Mai suspects that’s why he likes it.

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ty Lee chimes in from out of nowhere. “I mean, uh, don’t mind me?”

So much for making herself scarce.

And most of the time she does, but right now it’s a little… much.

“Oh good. Our chaperone is back,” Zuko mutters to Mai.

“Be nice,” Mai warns her boyfriend, when there’s a knock on the door.

A servant escorts Azula into the room who waltzes in with her usual air of confidence.

“Thought I’d find you all here,” says Azula, almost like an accusation. Like how dare they have fun without her. “We leave for Ember Island tomorrow. Pack your things or have someone do it for you.”

“Ember Island? What for?” Zuko asks.

She crosses her arms. “For _vacation_ , Zuzu. Why else? We’ve all earned a little rest and relaxation. Wouldn’t you agree, killer?”

The nickname makes him flinch.

Something that only Azula and Mai seem to notice.

Zuko doesn’t even seem aware of it.

He hasn’t talked about how he slayed the Avatar… which must mean there’s more to the story than he lets on.

“I could use some fun in the sun,” says Ty Lee. “And maybe afterwards Mai won’t look like a corpse anymore.”

Rude.

“Hey! I like the way Mai looks,” Zuko defends her.

And it’s sweet.

Futile, but sweet.

“Really? You _like_ that she looks like a corpse?” Azula drawls.

“She doesn’t look like a corpse! She looks like a… like a very… live girl,” he finishes lamely.

Mai appreciates the effort, so she leans in to kiss him and for a second he forgets that they have an audience when he deepens the kiss.

“Ty Lee, I was wondering if perhaps you’d like to take a walk with me so we can give these two some _alone time_ ,” Azula says, pretending to gag.

Like Mai didn’t have to witness her and Ty Lee making out in every corner of the Earth Kingdom when they thought she wasn’t around.

Maybe Azula is due for a little payback.

* * *

“I hate Ember Island,” Zuko complains once they’re gone.

“I hate your sister sometimes, but I deal with it,” she tells him.

Maybe more than sometimes if she’s being completely honest.

Maybe more like all the time.

He shrugs.

“At least Azula did us a favor by giving us some privacy.”

“Azula doesn’t do favors,” Mai responds. She pauses. “What did you have in mind?”

But she already knows what he’s going to say.

“I was just thinking… _if you want to_ … we could always… um…” he stutters, fighting to get the words out. “We could maybe…”

“Have sex?” she finishes the thought for him.

_“Only if you want to,”_ he reiterates.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to.

It’s not that she doesn’t know how it works.

It’s that it’s too _intimate._

And how can she let her guard down enough for that?

* * *

“How was your walk with Azula?” Mai asks Ty Lee once Zuko’s gone for the evening.

He took the rejection pretty well.

If anything, it just makes Mai like him more.

But not enough to have sex with him.

Yet.

“Um… it was fine.”

“Did you keep your pants on in my garden?” Mai jokes.

“Duh,” Ty Lee replies, but there’s a troubled expression on her face. “We just talked about our beach trip and all the boys we’re going to kiss now that Azula’s straight.”

It’s a good thing Mai isn’t drinking anything. She’s not sure if she’d do a spit take or choke when she hears the words coming out of Ty Lee’s mouth.

“Is that so?”

Ty Lee shrugs. “She says she’s super attracted to guys and she’s going to prove it.”

Prove it to who?

Herself?

Or Ty Lee?

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” says Mai, causing Ty Lee to giggle.

“I think she’s just trying to find a boyfriend before her dad finds one for her,” Ty Lee confesses. “I think she’s afraid he might be suspicious.”

Huh.

So Azula _does_ have an ulterior motive for agreeing to go on this trip.

Good to know.

* * *

Azula’s always kept Mai at an arm’s length – and that’s fine by Mai.

But for Azula to keep Ty Lee at one?

Impossible.

It’s not just their emotional proximity either.

The way they stand too close to each other on the ferry ride to Ember Island, the way they sit side by side at meals, the way they can’t seem to be apart for more than a few minutes.

And Mai, knowing what she knows, dreads the day their secret is revealed.

But for now, it’s all sunshine and seashells at the beach.

Well, unless you’re Zuko, who is being a total turtlecrab. Not to mention hotheaded and rude and – and – and _shirtless_ all at the same time.

Or Azula, who can’t help but be jealous over all the boys vying for Ty Lee’s attention.

Or Mai, who’s totally annoyed by Zuko’s immaturity.

Guess Ty Lee’s the only one _really_ having fun.

* * *

Parties suck.

Some guy keeps trying to hit on her and Zuko is in full asshole mode. She’s not here for it. Meanwhile, Ty Lee keeps getting cornered by guys, but she can fend for herself, so Mai looks around for Azula who is the most fucking awkward person as it turns out.

Mai already knew that.

It’s nice just to have validation.

Against all odds, however, Azula has a brief dalliance with a boy… much to Ty Lee’s dismay.

To make matters worse, Zuko gets kicked out of the party and she’s left there with a bunch of vapid idiots she doesn’t know.

And two pining idiots that she does know.

“Why did I teach her how to flirt? Of course she found a guy already,” Ty Lee whines once she’s managed to extract herself from her following.

Maybe she’s not having such a good time after all.

“Relax,” Mai says. “It’s not like she’s ever going to see him again after tonight.”

“It doesn’t matter! She could find a million guys to bring home to her dad,” she says, but the moaning and groaning would be much more effective if she didn’t do it so often.

“Maybe you should let her,” Mai suggests.

As though Azula has ever allowed anyone to tell her what to do.

“I guess,” Ty Lee agrees half-heartedly before wandering back to her gaggle of admirers.

Mai thinks that’s the end of it until Azula storms up to her.

“Ty Lee has _some nerve_ flaunting it in my face like that,” Azula says angrily, not even bothering to hide her jealousy this time.

“What exactly is she flaunting?” Mai asks Azula. “The fact that she has all of their attention without really trying? Or is it that she’s not paying any attention to you?”

“You know what? Just… just… _shut up,_ Mai,” a flustered Azula snarls, much to Mai’s delight.

Sure, parties suck, but getting a rise out of Azula is always Mai’s idea of a good time.

* * *

They leave the party, they build a bonfire on the beach, they bare their souls.

Teenage stuff.

Apparently bonding over their messed-up childhoods is cathartic for the rest of them, but breaking up and making up with Zuko in the same night while reliving her trauma is too much emotional whiplash for Mai’s liking.

Then they go _back_ to the party and wreck some shit – which is far, far superior to feeling things.

Mai relishes the recklessness of it.

Letting loose.

Leaving a trail of destruction in her wake.

Not worrying about how it affects her family’s reputation.

That’s what she wants to remember from this night.

* * *

“I think she’s asleep.”

She’s not.

She _was_ trying to sleep off her emotional overload, but she can’t when the world’s loudest, least discrete _not-a-couple_ hover over her face.

“I can never tell with Mai,” Azula says to Ty Lee. “She always looks dead to me. I’m not even joking… even though mastering comedy _is_ on my list of genius accomplishments.”

It takes all of Mai’s willpower not to cringe.

“She’s asleep,” Ty Lee confirms.

Incorrectly.

Mai needs to remember to never let Ty Lee check enemies for a pulse.

Also ridiculous: Azula’s notion that she’s somehow funny.

“Lo and Li are light sleepers so unfortunately we won’t be able to sneak out without waking the old hags,” Azula says.

She wishes she didn’t have to be conscious for all of Azula and Ty Lee’s heart to hearts.

Mai had her fill of that in the Earth Kingdom.

Ty Lee yawns. “What did you want to talk about, Azula?”

“I… I was just wondering if you had fun with all your little boyfriends tonight,” Azula says shyly.

“ _Azula_ ,” Ty Lee protests.

“What? I’m not allowed to ask?”

“You’re allowed to do whatever you want, Princess.”

“Not everything,” Azula says with a scoff.

This is why Mai hates these conversations. She always ends up feeling at least a little sorry for Azula afterwards. Until the next string of insults comes out of her mouth.

So… for like a second.

“What about the boy from tonight? Chan? You wanted to prove just how straight you are and you did,” Ty Lee tells her.

“I _was_ rather convincing, wasn’t I?”

It’s clearly a point of pride to Azula, but it just makes Ty Lee sob.

“Yeah, you sure fooled me,” she says bitterly.

“Please don’t cry. What we have, Ty Lee, it’s not _nothing_ ,” Azula whispers. “I think about it all the time.”

“You said you’d make it so we could be together.”

Of course she did.

Anything to keep Ty Lee hooked.

“And I will someday,” Azula comforts her. “But who knows how long that will take? Or who I’ll have to dispose of in order to make it happen? With my brother back, my claim to the throne is in jeopardy.”

Well, that sounds ominous for Zuko.

Mai thinks of him asleep on the couch… defenseless.

But Azula can be patient when it benefits her.

Ty Lee can’t.

“I’m tired of waiting,” Ty Lee sighs.

“Maybe _this_ will tide you over until I can make everything official.”

Whatever _this_ is, Mai thinks, it had better not be a secret betrothal.

They’re already insufferable enough as it is.

Mai peeks one eye open just in time to see Azula lean over to kiss Ty Lee.

“That just makes it worse,” Ty Lee tells her, but she kisses her back anyway.

Mai’s inclined to agree.

* * *

Vacation’s over and Mai will be happy if she never has to go on another one.

It just brings out the worst in all of them… herself included.

But she does relish the time she spends with Zuko, even if he is a bit extra at times.

Or all the time.

“Stubborn old man,” Zuko mutters one day. “He still won’t talk to me!”

“I thought things were going well with your father,” she says.

Things have been _great_ between her and Zuko since they got back from the beach.

So much so that she’s considering taking their relationship a step further.

Not that she’s told him that.

Nor is it the time to bring it up.

Zuko looks away. “Not him. Uncle.”

“He made his choice, Zuko, and you made yours,” she says, cozying up beside him.

He furrows his brow. “But was it the right one?”

He looks as lost and confused as he did that night at the bonfire.

Just when Mai thought it gave him some clarity.

“You’re here with me now so I’d say it was a good choice,” she says with a shrug.

She wants to help him, but she isn’t used to conflict and inner turmoil he struggles with.

Growing up things were so straightforward for her.

_Make friends with the princess._

_Forget about that boy._

_Pack your things for Omashu._

_Don’t make a fuss, Mai._

_Don’t make a fuss._

And it was always easier to just obey.

* * *

There’s a letter from her mother waiting for Mai when she gets home from the palace. In her nearly sixteen years, this is the longest she’s been apart from her and Mai finds that she prefers it that way. No one telling her to mind her manners or lecture her on what is and isn’t polite.

It’s a nice reprieve.

Against her best judgment, she opens the letter and a small portrait of her brother falls out.

Tom-Tom looks well. Like maybe getting abducted by the resistance didn’t mess him up too much. There’s no way he remembers Mai calling off the trade for King Bumi, right?

Sure, it was at Azula’s insistence, but Mai could have said no.

_Should have_ said no.

He’s always been a happy kid and Mai would hate if she caused him any strife.

The letter goes on and on for pages, but Mai only skims it.

There’s nothing in there worth getting upset over.

* * *

It’s an otherwise uneventful evening when Ty Lee brings it up.

“Mai. It’s been _sooo_ long since I made out with anybody. Will you _please_ practice with me?”

While Ty Lee likes to conveniently forget about her boyfriends, Mai still has Zuko.

Plus she doesn’t know that Mai knows about her kiss with Azula.

“Can I throw poison darts at your head?” Mai counteroffers after pretending to think it over.

“No?” Ty Lee squeaks.

“Then no.”

“I bet that Water Tribe guy would make out with me,” Ty Lee pouts.

“He’s our enemy,” Mai reminds her.

“Then they need to stop making our enemies so cute!” Ty Lee says sassily.

“There are plenty of cute Fire Nationals for you to make out with. Ones that aren’t me,” Mai tells her, adding, “Or Zuko.”

“Eh. The scar doesn’t really do it for me,” Ty Lee says.

“I bet it would if it was on Azula’s face,” Mai teases.

“Okay, yeah,” Ty Lee blushes. “She would still look gorgeous and stunning and perfect. You know, I _have_ thought about what it would be like if she’d been banished instead.”

This should be interesting.

“What conclusion did you come to?” Mai asks.

“She would’ve found the Avatar immediately. No doubt about that, but you know what? It still wouldn’t be enough to make her problems go away,” she says sadly.

Sometimes Mai forgets just how smart Ty Lee really is.

Because even after completing his mission, Zuko still isn’t any happier.

And Mai’s not sure there’s anything she can do to change that.

* * *

She’s at the palace one day when she runs into Azula’s trusted twin advisors.

“If you’re looking for the prince, he’s feeding the turtleducks,” the woman she thinks is Li tells her.

“If it’s the princess you seek, she’s getting fitted for a new set of armor,” says a possible Lo. “So…”

_“Which is it?”_ they ask at the same time.

“Azula,” Mai replies.

She’s itching to know what the plan is when the invasion comes. What her role will be. So far it’s been silent on that front and she’s getting anxious.

She doesn’t like sitting around.

“The young prodigy is quite popular,” one of them tells her.

“Quite popular indeed,” says the other.

The one she thought was Li now Mai thinks might be Lo.

Either way they give her the creeps.

“If she’s too busy to play Pai Sho with me, I can always come back,” Mai states, moving to get past them, but they block her path.

The women exchange a look.

“This morning we witnessed something between her and the flexible one that we dare not mention to the Fire Lord. An embrace meant for couples.”

“We are hesitant to mention it to you now because we do not question the unyielding power of Princess Azula’s love for the Fire Nation.”

_“But we are concerned,”_ they say together, bowing their heads.

“Concerned for her safety or about the other…thing?” Mai asks, her heart racing.

"Our duty has always been to serve her.”

“As is yours.”

“I’m her friend. Not her servant,” Mai says, although friend is more of a loose term for what she and Azula are.

“When it comes to the royal family…” Maybe Lo begins.

…is there any difference?” Maybe Li finishes.

They cackle, but it’s the worst joke Mai’s ever heard.

Maybe because it’s not a joke.

But she does feel like she has a duty of her own.

A duty to Ty Lee to keep her safe.

In all seriousness, she asks, “What do you want me to do about it?”

_“Convince them it’s a bad idea,”_ they say like she hasn’t tried that already.

But the only thing more unyielding that Azula’s love of the Fire Nation might just be her obsession with Ty Lee.

* * *

“What do you remember about Fire Lord Sozin?”

He’s been reading a lot of journals lately.

Not that it bothers Mai – it’s just a strange question to ask when her lips are on his neck and all he wants to talk about is his great-grandfather.

Guess Zuko can add _the mood_ to the list of things he’s killed.

Although it’s probably too soon to joke about that.

“I remember he had a friendship with Avatar Roku that Azula and Ty Lee would envy,” she says instead.

But that’s just Mai’s interpretation of the ancient texts. There’s nothing to actually suggest Roku and Sozin were romantically involved. Especially considering Sozin is the one who banned all same-sex relations.

It goes right over Zuko’s head.

“What do they have to do with anything?”

“It’s not important,” she says, sighing. “Why do you ask?”

“My uncle’s trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what.”

Again with his uncle.

Mai’s not sure why General Iroh is so interested in Sozin either – or why he still refuses to talk to Zuko.

Drama just runs in the family, Mai guesses.

Which sucks because she might be in love with him.

Zuko, for the record.

Not Iroh.

“Then ask him yourself,” Mai says, “but in the meantime, I was thinking of trying something… _new_.”

Zuko grins; a rare sight these days.

It’s a beautiful thing when he does.

“What did you have in mind?”

* * *

“You’ll never believe what just happened,” Ty Lee says at teatime.

“Mai chose today to grow a personality?” Azula guesses.

She hasn’t been around much lately. Too busy planning their strategy when the solar eclipse comes. Or maybe she’s avoiding Ty Lee after Lo and Li found out.

No telling if they’ve confronted _her_ about it though.

“ _Ha ha_ ,” Mai says, taking a dainty sip of her tea and wondering where Zuko is.

Off sulking outside the prison where his uncle is, probably.

Zuko’s still acting so weird.

And no, it’s not _that_.

Mai gave him a hand with that.

Literally.

“No, that’ll never happen,” Ty Lee says. “Actually, I was at the market looking for things to spice up Mai’s love life when I met someone.”

She never should have told Ty Lee about her and Zuko’s… _encounter._

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Mai objects, but she’s drowned out by Azula.

“What _kind_ of someone?”

“That’s when I realized that maybe _my_ love life needed some spicing up,” Ty Lee continues, ignoring her ex-girlfriend, which does not sit well with Azula.

“Who is it?” she demands.

“She’s a great firebender, and she’s so funny, and she’s probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Ty Lee gushes.

Maybe occasional _this-kiss-will-tide-you-over_ kisses aren’t working like Azula thought they would since Ty Lee has decided to speed up their relationship timeline by dating someone else.

Because she knows it will work.

Especially because it’s another girl.

“What’s. Her. Name,” Azula asks through gritted teeth.

Nobody knows how to piss Azula off quite like Ty Lee – and nobody else could ever get away with it – but this is where Ty Lee falters ever so slightly.

It’s the kind of thing Azula would normally pick up on in a heartbeat.

Jealousy is funny that way.

“Her name? Uh, her name is… Sun,” Ty Lee says, squinting.

It sounds fake.

It sounds _so_ fake.

It occurs to Mai that she might be making this all up – but Azula, despite her skeptical nature, is definitely buying it.

“So you just _happened_ to meet a girl? A girl that flirted with you?”

“Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?” Ty Lee shouts.

“Lots of people flirt with Ty Lee,” Mai says, although she’s not sure why she’s helping Ty Lee sell what she’s pretty sure is a lie.

“At the market? Where anyone could have overheard your conversation?” Azula asks. “You should know by now that this isn’t a game, Ty Lee, but if you want to end up in a prison cell… _go right ahead_!”

She’s too upset to think straight and she lights up the table in a fit of brilliant blue rage, causing Mai to scramble to put it out.

Funny how Azula gets to decide what is and isn’t a game.

And what the rules are.

“I’d rather be in prison with someone than all alone in the palace!” Ty Lee calls after her.

But it’s too late.

Azula’s gone.

“The next time you invent a fake girlfriend to piss off your real ex, do you mind doing it at your house?” Mai asks, throwing another bucket of water on the simmering flame.

* * *

The problem with having codependent, petty bitches for friends is that they always come to Mai for advice whenever they inevitably have a falling out.

And the solution is obvious – Mai needs new friends.

But it’s not the solution to Azula and Ty Lee’s problems and Mai hates people so new friends are hard to come by.

This time, though, it’s not Ty Lee who comes to her.

It’s Azula.

Or rather she’s summoned to the palace by Azula.

“Princess,” Mai says curtly, bowing low before the Fire Lord’s daughter.

“I must be desperate if I’m seeking your counsel,” Azula says in lieu of greeting. “Lately I’ve been letting my… _affections_ for a certain someone cloud my judgment.”

“Anyone I know?” Mai asks dryly.

“Don’t get smart with me. You’re not very good at it,” Azula snaps.

This does not bode well.

Mai sighs. “Let me save you some time. Sun’s not real.”

“Are you dumb? All you have to do is look for it in the sky, but not for too long, otherwise you’ll go blind like the Avatar’s _other_ girlfriend.”

Wait.

What?

“Now that’s how you tell a joke,” Azula laughs maniacally, adding, “I know Sun isn’t real by the way. I had my Dai Li agents conduct an informal census in the dead of night.”

Of course she did.

Stalker.

“If you’re so worried about your affections clouding your judgment, then maybe focus on something else for a while,” Mai suggests.

“I’ve tried,” Azula admits, not wanting to look Mai in the eye. “It’s no use. I considered apologizing for overreacting the other day at tea. But not to _you_. You don’t think I was going to apologize to you, do you?”

Mai doesn’t see why she would start now.

“I’m sure this _certain someone_ would appreciate the gesture, no matter how small,” Mai says.

Azula mulls it over. “It’d have to be subtle. Can you imagine what would happen if word got out that I possess feelings? Or that I was at fault for something?”

_Or that you’re a lesbian,_ Mai adds in her head.

Again, it’s almost pathetic enough for Mai to feel sorry for Azula…

Until she remembers this is the Teenage God of War she’s talking to.

And Mai knows exactly what she’s capable of.

* * *

Azula and Zuko are sparring in the cruel Fire Nation summer heat while Mai and Ty Lee watch from the shade and for a moment it’s like they’re kids again.

The four of them are together.

How it always was and how it always will be.

“Go Azula!” Ty Lee cheers.

“I thought you were mad at her,” Mai says, thinking of her conversation with Lo and Li and watching the sweat drip from Zuko’s shirtless body.

Even if it is possible for Mai to drive a wedge between Azula and Ty Lee, there’s no guarantee that it will last.

And _Agni only knows_ her previous attempts at convincing them not to _mingle_ haven’t worked.

“It’s complicated,” Ty Lee replies. “I’m still so upset, but on the other hand, she’s like… really hot.”

Burning up underneath all of those layers is more like it. She doesn’t have the luxury of shedding any clothes like Zuko – she’s a proper royal through and through.

Minus the secret affair.

“Yeah, it sounds complex,” Mai drones, laying it on so thick even Ty Lee will pick up on the sarcasm.

Zuko lets out an exasperated grunt as he and Azula circle each other, taking a moment to consider their next moves.

“You know what, Mai? Your aura looks like shit,” Ty Lee claims, pouting.

That’s the kind of thing that would really hurt if she believed in auras.

But she doesn’t.

“Ouch,” Mai jeers. “Why don’t you just get back together already?”

“You know why,” Ty Lee says under her breath.

Azula launches attack after attack effortlessly as Zuko struggles to dodge them before firing off a few of his own.

“Oh, that’s right,” Mai taunts Ty Lee. “I _do_ know why. It’s because she loves stringing you along. She knows you’ll never tell her no.”

“That’s not true!” Ty Lee insists, glancing over at the still-sparring siblings, who have also turned up their intensity as Zuko switches to offense.

“It _is_ true. You’re just too infatuated to see it,” Mai replies, ignoring the rising temperature and flashes of blue and orange flames. “If she gives you a bit of affection here, a hug and a kiss there, you’ll come crawling back to her every time.”

There.

Maybe that will do the trick.

“At least I’m not frigid like you, Mai!” Ty Lee tells her. “No wonder you and Zuko haven’t done it yet. You’d probably just lay there like a –”

It’s not like she means to slap Ty Lee.

It just happens before she can stop herself.

And Zuko and Azula are too busy locked in their own battle of wills to notice.

* * *

Afterwards, Mai tugs Zuko into a secluded corner of the royal library, shoves him against the stacks, and kisses him hard.

“Wow,” he says, dazed.

“I don’t want to be like…” she pauses. Shit, she can’t say their names. “…this other couple that I know that never seem to be on the same page. Especially when it comes to where they stand in their relationship.”

“I thought we already established our courtship,” he replies, clueless as to why they’re having this conversation. “We got our portrait made together and everything. You looked so cute and serious.”

She scowls at him.

He knows she hates it when he calls her cute.

“I want to take things to the next level,” she tells him.

He blinks. “Do you mean upstairs… or getting married?”

She’s going to have to spell it out for him, isn’t she?

“Let’s have sex,” she proposes.

_“In the library? Where books are?”_ he whispers.

“Just kiss me,” she commands, to which he obliges.

“What’s got you so worked up?” he asks, lavishing her with affection, letting his hands roam freely.

Good thing she’s not carrying too many sharp objects.

“It’s nothing,” she snaps.

“It’s something,” he kisses along her collarbone and it makes her shiver. “If you’re going to get all hot and bothered, at least tell me why you’re bothered.”

“It’s just so infuriating!”

“Relax,” he comforts her, trying to ease the tension. “Take a deep breath.”

“The way she tries to manipulate people and use their secrets against them –”

He stops.

“Okay, I can’t do this if you’re going to talk about my sister.”

“I’m not talking about Azula,” she tells him. “I’m talking about Ty Lee.”

“Ty Lee? I thought you said…”

“Anyone who says Ty Lee can’t be manipulative clearly doesn’t know her,” Mai says, slumping down to the ground.

“I guess I don’t know her that well,” Zuko replies as he joins her on the floor. “Not like you do.”

“She just thinks that just because she’s done _it_ before that she’s better than me.”

“Is that why you brought me here? To prove a point to her?” he asks.

“No,” she lies.

He tilts his head to the side. “Mai…”

“I want to. I’m ready.”

He doesn’t ask her if she’s sure, unlike all of the other check-ins he’s previously insisted on.

“Then we’ll make it a special occasion,” he promises. “After the solar eclipse. Assuming we both survive.”

“You’d better,” she tells him fondly.

He cups her face and leans in for one more kiss. “It’s a date.”

* * *

They’re day drinking.

“Is it weird that I kind of liked it when you smacked me?” Ty Lee says as they procure another bottle of liquor from Mai’s parents’ vast collection.

It’s not like Ukano and Michi will miss it.

They’d have to be here for that.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Mai tells her, checking the labels to make sure they get the good stuff.

It’s all there is to do since neither she nor Ty Lee are involved in the solar eclipse plans – despite being elite non-benders.

But whatever Fire Lord Ozai wants.

Or maybe Azula has other plans for them that she has yet to divulge, but for now… day drinking.

Maybe they’re _kind of_ also making amends from their argument.

Mai has nothing to apologize for – or so she tells herself so that she doesn’t have to feel guilty for hitting her best friend – but she lets Ty Lee hug her at random intervals anyway.

“This is nice,” Ty Lee says, breathing in Mai’s scent like she hasn’t seen her in years. Like they don’t see each other every day. “I can never stay mad at you.”

And as much as Mai wants to stay mad at Ty Lee…

She can’t either.

Maybe Ty Lee _should_ learn to hold grudges.

She’s way too forgiving and Mai’s soft enough on her as it is.

“Just sitting around and drinking is boring. Let’s do something,” Mai suggests so they can finally end the never-ending hugs.

“Can I practice throwing your knives?”

Ty Lee always comes up with her best ideas while tipsy.

Today is no exception.

“Um, _yes_ ,” Mai replies, glad to be free of the hug. “I’ve only waited a decade for you to ask.”

Ty Lee giggles and starts teetering back and forth in what has to be her worst handstand ever when Mai’s servant interrupts them.

“Pardon, but there’s a delivery for Miss Ty Lee in the courtyard,” he says.

“Ooh, is it something from my parents?” Ty Lee asks him, righting herself clumsily.

“I don’t believe so, no.”

She cocks her head to the side. “Is it… _a surprise_?”

“Yes?” he says, looking to Mai, hoping she’ll put him out of his misery and dismiss him so he won’t have to play this guessing game.

She waves him away with a lazy flick of her wrist.

“Let’s find out what it is,” Ty Lee says, dragging Mai out of the house by the hand to find… balloons?

“There’s a note attached,” Mai says, grabbing it and handing it to Ty Lee.

“Ty Lee, these balloons reminded me of you because they’re whimsical, _like you_ , and you’re so whimsical the circus centered its entire freakshow around you,” Ty Lee reads. “No, that’s stupid. Scratch that part out. Why are you still writing? Stop it. This is obviously my reprimanding voice and not my dictating voice. What do you mean there’s no difference in my tone? Do you want to be banished, Lo? What do you mean you’re Li and not Lo? Who cares? I’m trying to convey a message of – never mind. Burn this draft.”

So much for subtlety.

Also Lo and/or Li must be having chest pains after having to compose _that._

Maybe that’s why they sent this draft instead of whatever Azula settled on – to cause more friction.

Not a bad strategy.

“Why not flowers?” Mai wonders aloud. “Next time your _not-so-secret admirer_ should send flowers. Or tactical gear.”

“I don’t really need any gifts, but at least now I know what to get _you_ for your birthday,” Ty Lee says. She reads over the note again. “Mai… can I ask you a question?”

Mai takes a swig of her drink. “Saying no has never stopped you before.”

“Do you think it’s possible to love someone _way, way_ more than they love you?” Ty Lee asks.

Mai nods. “Yeah. I’d say it’s entirely possible, Ty Lee.”

Ty Lee clutches the note to her chest.

“Regular balloons are kind of… _pointless_ , aren’t they?” she says dejectedly.

“Of course they’re pointless. They’re round,” Mai tells her in a feeble attempt to cheer her up.

It doesn’t work.

Then again punchlines were never her specialty.

“At least now we have some targets for when we throw my knives,” she adds with a shrug.

Ty Lee destroys every single balloon.

* * *

Azula’s voice is exponentially more grating when Mai is hungover.

Especially when Azula barges into her room at dawn and wakes her up to rant about Ty Lee for hours.

“Mai? Are you listening? Did she or did she not like my apology?”

“You never actually apologized,” Mai says blearily from her cocoon of blankets. “You realize that, right?”

“Impossible. I composed over twenty drafts of that note and I told Lo to send the best one,” Azula says with as much arrogance as she can muster.

“If that was the best one, I’d hate to see what the worst one looked like,” Mai tells her.

Although in all likelihood, that _was_ the worst one.

Knowing what she knows of Lo and Li’s intentions.

Azula examines her nails. “I should’ve known you’d be of no help.”

“Tell me my part during the eclipse and I’ll put in a good word for you with your lady love,” Mai barters.

Seems like a fair trade to Mai, but Azula isn’t having it.

“Look at you,” Azula sneers, causing Mai’s ears to ring. “Thinking you’re important enough to have a role in our Nation’s most critical moment. My father has no need for your party tricks when we have the Dai Li.”

“Then what will I do?” she asks, confused.

“You’ll evacuate the city like all of the other commoners,” says Azula.

Mai shakes her head, wishing it wasn’t pounding so much. “What about Ty Lee?”

Azula smirks. “I have a special objective for her. She’s _anything_ but common.”

“Azula, I swear, if you…” she trails off.

“If I what?” Azula replies threateningly.

“Just – don’t put her in a position where she has to choose between her own safety and yours,” Mai says. “Please. I’m begging you.”

Azula brushes the bangs out of Mai’s eyes before gripping her chin firmly.

“If you think I’d ask her to do that, then you don’t know me at all,” she murmurs, patting Mai’s face sharply before stalking out.

Mai spends the rest of the morning in bed trying not to let the alcohol and anxiety get the better of her.

* * *

Ty Lee eventually comes looking for her and crawls into bed with her.

No traces of a hangover there.

Lucky.

“She invited me to stay with her tonight,” Ty Lee tells Mai as she attempts to cuddle her under the sheets. Mai’s too tired to put up much of a fight. “She said her dad will be too preoccupied with the eclipse tomorrow to notice.”

It’s still a huge risk to take, but if things don’t go as planned tomorrow maybe Azula wants to go out without any regrets.

They are each other’s firsts after all.

“Are you going?” Mai asks.

She’d never admit it out loud, but she’s a bit fragile after her conversation with Azula.

The things she was saying…

“Uh, no, why would I do that?” Ty Lee wavers.

“You could at least have the decency to pretend like you’re not going to sneak out later.”

“You can come with me. It’ll be just like the sleepovers we used to have before we took each other’s clothes off,” Ty Lee offers.

“Before _you_ and _Azula_ took each other’s clothes off,” Mai corrects her. “Besides, I don’t want to sit around watching the two of you flirt. I’ve witnessed enough for this lifetime.”

“Suit yourself,” Ty Lee says, throwing the covers off and prying Mai’s hands from her torso.

Huh.

How did those get there?

“I _am_ going to stay with her tonight. I want to be with Azula especially if it’s our last chance. Maybe you should do the same for Zuko.”

Hard to argue with that.

“Maybe I will,” Mai tells her best friend. She calls out to Ty Lee as the other girl leaves, yelling, “Oh, and watch out for Lo and Li!”

“They’ll never catch me alive,” Ty Lee winks.

They’d better fucking not.

* * *

She decides to take a leap of faith and sneak into the palace – a shockingly easy feat on the eve of something so momentous.

Zuko’s bedroom is empty when he arrives, so she takes her time to rearrange a few pillows.

She doesn’t have to wait long because before she knows it, the door creaks open and her boyfriend walks in.

“Mai,” he greets her. “What are you doing here?”

“I know we discussed waiting until after the eclipse, but I… I just figured why wait? We could be dead tomorr –”

“We can’t,” he cuts her off.

What a fool she was – thinking that he actually wanted this.

She should have known.

“I don’t understand. You seemed so sure before,” she tells Zuko, tugging at her robe.

“If you say you’re ready then I believe you. I just don’t think _I’m_ ready,” he says.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” she presses.

Now that she finally wants to open up to him – he doesn’t want it anymore?

“I’ve given it a lot of thought,” he says, like that makes it any better. “I didn’t mean to get your hopes up, but I have so many other things going through my mind right now. I think I’ll feel better after we make it through the invasion.”

A tear threatens to fall down her face, but she ignores it and he smartly does the same.

“Fine,” she tells him.

“I do love you, Mai, and I want to. Like…really, _really_ want to, but not yet.”

“I said _fine_ ,” she repeats. She sighs because she has the sinking feeling that this was never about sex, adding, “This is because of what happened in Ba Sing Se, isn’t it? You still feel guilty about how it all played out.”

He hangs his head in shame.

“Uncle had so much faith in me and I can’t shake the feeling that I let him down.”

“Did you kill the Avatar? Or is that another one of Azula’s lies?” she asks bluntly.

“No, I didn’t kill him. Even when I had the chance, I couldn’t do it,” Zuko admits. “My whole banishment led up to that moment and when the time came, I froze… I stood there and watched Azula fry him like a komodo chicken.”

What a vivid image.

“That doesn’t sound like the Zuko I know. The Zuko I know takes charge. He doesn’t just wait for things to happen.”

“I’m trying to be a better version of that man!” he argues.

“And who is that?” she asks him.

He touches his hand to his scar. “I’m not sure yet. I had my uncle to guide me before.”

“Guess you’ll have to figure it out for yourself then,” Mai says, brushing past him on her way to the door. “Let me know when you do because I...”

_Say it._

_Do it._

"…I don’t hate you.”

_Weak._

“I don’t hate you either,” he replies with a small smile.

The memory of saying those exact words to each other while watching the sunset lingers for a moment before Mai walks out the door.

She considers going back and telling him that she does in fact love him, but then again…

There’s always tomorrow.

* * *

Mai does as she’s told and evacuates the city the next morning.

All she can do is replay her conversation from last night with Zuko over and over in her mind.

It felt like a breakup without the words, in a way, like they were just dancing around the subject.

Mai hates dancing.

And sitting idly by while the rest of her childhood friends defend their Nation.

* * *

When the enemy retreats, an alarm is sounded letting the citizens know they’re able to go home again.

Along the way to Mai’s house, she runs into Ty Lee who thankfully looks no worse for the wear.

“How was last night?” she asks, and judging by her mood, she had a pleasant evening of her own. “Did you see Zuko?”

Mai sighs.

“I came onto him. I put myself out there and he rejected me.”

“I always knew Zuko was dumb,” Ty Lee says eventually. “I mean, if you came onto me...”

“Stop,” Mai laughs, giving her a playful shove. “It’ll never happen.”

“Are you sure? What was it you called me that one time? Honey? Dear?”

“It was babe,” Mai tells her. “You hitting on me… is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No. Hugs are, but I doubt you’ll let me give you one,” Ty Lee replies.

And she’s right.

When Ty Lee is upset, she can hug Mai all she wants.

When Mai is upset…

Better to do without.

“He’s been so tormented ever since we came back to the Fire Nation,” Mai says.

“He’s been tormented since his father gave him that scar,” Ty Lee counters. “One time he walked in on me and Azula having a _moment_ and he didn’t even notice because he was too busy brooding.”

Mai thinks about Zuko and how the closer she tries to get to him the farther he pulls away. How consumed he is by the consequences of his own actions. How desperately he wanted to come home, but now that he is home –

“Maybe it’s better that we didn’t… yet.”

“Nothing wrong with taking things slow,” Ty Lee agrees.

“Thank you for being my best friend,” Mai tells her. “I mean it.”

They stop outside of Mai’s house to inspect the damage, but there is none.

In some ways, it’s a small victory.

In another, Mai wishes it had been reduced to rubble.

“Yeah, but do you _love_ me?” Ty Lee asks in that annoying voice she uses to get what she wants.

“No,” Mai rolls her eyes as they make their way into the house.

“Just admit it – you love your best friend. Say it.”

“No. I hate you,” Mai jokes, setting her bag down on the floor and opening the door to her room, Ty Lee trailing behind her.

But her good mood is interrupted when she sees a letter on her bed.

At first she thinks it might be from her mother again, but she’d recognize Zuko’s ugly handwriting anywhere.

This is it.

What she’d been dreading.

A breakup letter because he’s too scared to do it in person.

“Do you want me to read it?” Ty Lee asks.

Mai shakes her head no and uses her shuriken to open the official wax seal.

_“Dear Mai, I’m sorry that you have to find out this way…”_

She gasps – and the letter falls to the floor.

“What is it, Mai?”

Ty Lee wants to know, but Mai’s not even sure she can get the words out.

It’s worse than a breakup.

Zuko is gone.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

**Author's Note:**

> Something, something, FORESHADOWING. Something, something, BOILING ROCK. 
> 
> Also… do you ever wonder where Mai and Ty Lee were on the Day of the Black Sun? Because I do.


End file.
